Machete (review with Spoilers)

[Afterthought]

Machete is THE over the top movie of the summer. and that's key, you have to take it as the gore/nudity festival that it is and NOT the preachy social commentary movie you might be tempted to think of it as.
clear - clear.

the movie opens with Machete (our hero) going against corrupt cops and drug kingpins - queue Steven Segal. so that's why he wasn't in Expendables.
anyways, in the flashback, Machete doesn't quite win the day, but that sets the drama for the here and now.
Robert De Niro (cast perfectly to play an over the top southern Senator) is crooked to the core, and Machete is hired to take him out.
but faster than you can say SET UP, Machete gets framed for a crime he didn't commit, and has to rely on his wits and his blades to get out.
by this point, you should be used to the messy, violent, and shallow humor of the film, or else it goes south quick.
i.e. using a man's intestine as a rope to repel through a window. if that's not fun, I don't know what is.

what with the naked chicks (Jessica Alba's shower scene, then Lindsey Lohan of all people), the killing, and violence during this vendetta mix together quite well.
the laughs come too, such as fighting somebody with a weed whacker, Cheech Marin as Machete's priest brother, and all the camp you can have.
such as - "Machete don't text." amen brother, amen.
it all leads up to the big shootout/cut them all up scenes at the end, and it's all very good. very fast, very to the point.
in the end - 8.623 smashies.

[Thunder]

If you're against illegal immigration you're an imbred white supremacist, that's what I took from this.

[Grizzly]

No doubt the logic was flawed, but it was still fun and ridiculously gory.