Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (review with Spoilers)

[Afterthought]

it's crap. there I saved you the trouble. but for more of a description:

I took my fiancee to see TF3. Despite knowing that it’s been called “the worst movie of all time.” And though she never saw any of the original episodes, the animated movie, read any of the comics, or even seen the prior 2 movies, she went along like a trooper. And while watching the movie, I had to lower my eyes and hold my head at some parts. I'll get to these (lots of them) shortly. But the best part of all this? Seeing Marcy also lower her head in shame of this movie, despite having little knowledge of the back-story. Leonard Nimoy should be ashamed and Michael Bay should be the victim of sudden involuntary brain surgery.

Here are some (and I could go on surprisingly) of the things that will either make your eyebrow raise, your chin itch, make your soul scream on the inside, or even possibly vomit.

An Autobot escape ship landed on the moon back in the '60s, despite being heavily damaged. The Americans then find some unconscious robots there, and then they leave and no one ever goes back.

Megatron hides his face under a blanket rather than fixing it. In fact, Megatron, the biggest villain in cartoon history, does nothing until the last 5 minutes of the movie.

The giant drill Decepticon is nothing but a knock off of the monster from "Lost".

The racist bots do appear despite Michael Bay's personal guarantee that they wouldn't, but only briefly thankfully. One of the Autobots, in the worst sign of product placement anywhere, is actually a "Target" car. There's also these 2 mini Autobots used for comic relief and they are HORRIBLE at it. There's some elder Autobot that dies that went by the name of Brains, and yet was never mentioned in the first 2 films.

The guy from "Grey's Anatomy" is so obviously evil, he's practically wearing a sign that says "Decepticon slave" before the "big" reveal. In fact, there are lots of humans collaborators that didn’t do anything the first 2 movies, and now all appear out of nowhere. One of the members of NEST is the guy from the Terry Tate commercials, and sucks at it. Alan Tudyk plays Turturro's gay German assistant and this is supposed to be funny, but fails horribly.

There is LOTS of tongue in cheek swearing throughout, despite this is supposed to be a kids film. It gets worse because the Decepticons hunt and brutally murder many, many Chicagoans. And to make that EVEN WORSE - Optimus Prime lets thousands of humans die, just to show humans a moral lesson.

You know what? I'm just going to cut to the chase, spoil the ending, and stop wasting my time of this POS film.

Michael Bay uses soldiers in flight suits to get past the Decepticon sentinels, despite the fact that they land miles past the battle field and then walk back.

Alpha Trion, the allegory used for Sentinel Prime, the most selfless character ever, is now completely evil. And it's never clearly revealed why. In a GIANT show of hypocrisy, he states the old "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" line, so he wants 6 BILLION humans killed for 300 Transformers. worst. math. ever. AND it would seem that Megatron attacked Sentinel Prime at the beginning of the film during the space ship chase, despite having some kind of a truce with him. And this is also never cleared up.

The whole plan was to bring Cybertron to Earth. The humans were to be a labor force to rebuild Cybertron, despite it being a complex advanced PLANET WIDE SOCIETY. that's going to hurt your logic centers almost as much as the next one.
The giant weapon Sentinel Prime was guarding, was the space bridge. But how it would end the Autobot-Decepticon war? NO IDEA.
The space bridge gets fired up, and Cybertron enters Earth’s orbit and doesn’t mess with the gravity at all.

Starscream is killed by humans with a grappling hook, despite the fact he can fly. You read that right.
Optimus Prime, who cuts his way through Decepticons like they were tall grass, gets stuck in some wiring. For over 20 minutes he's absent from the film. And still needs help getting free, despite having a weapon capable of cutting through giant metal robots.
Carly turns Megatron against Sentinel Prime by using a naughty word.
A giant worm hole opens in space as Cybertron is destroyed, and again, the Earth is invulnerable to it somehow.
Optimus guns down a helpless defenseless Sentinel Prime twice in the face after he's defeated. IN THE FACE.
This franchise is hopefully dead for now. This film is the 5th worst film of all time:

1) Jason X
2) TF2
3) Xmen Origins - Wolverine
4) The Spirit
5) TF3

[Grizzly]

I just went in hoping it was better than the 2nd one.

[OPIE]

Not really better then the second. Just about on par. Which is bad.

[Xero]

Danielle and I watched it a couple nights ago and enjoyed the popcorn. Movie was ok but I didn't like how some of the things went down in the movie. Primes, starscream, Ironhide, megatron, Hangover asian guy, drawn out, etc...

Optimus not being able to move out of the cables was odd. Sword that will cut through anything... but cables.... so he'll just chillax for a while and not try to get out.

Too many plots going on and not enough time to expand on a lot of them.

Even with all of the bad, it is another transformers movie. Lots of action (Maybe too much action). Still worth a watch in my book.